Spinoza : “when a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master, but lies at the mercy of fortune.”
Are we defined by our attachments?
Attachment means an affectional bond or tie between an individual and an attachment figure
reciprocal between two adults
safety, security and protection, paramount
instinctivelly for the purpose of survival and genetic replication
the biological aim is survival and the psychological aim is security
is it not synonymous with love and affection, although these may indicate that bonds exist
Attachment theory was extended to adult romantic relationships in the late 1980s by Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver. Four styles of attachment have been identified in adults:
secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant.
Securely attached adults tend to have positive views of themselves, their partners and their relationships. They feel comfortable with intimacy and independence, balancing the two.
Anxious-preoccupied adults seek high levels of intimacy, approval and responsiveness from partners, becoming overly dependent. They tend to be less trusting, have less positive views about themselves and their partners, and may exhibit high levels of emotional expressiveness, worry and impulsiveness in their relationships.
Dismissive-avoidant adults desire a high level of independence, often appearing to avoid attachment altogether. They view themselves as self-sufficient, invulnerable to attachment feelings and not needing close relationships. They tend to suppress their feelings, dealing with rejection by distancing themselves from partners of whom they often have a poor opinion.
Fearful-avoidant adults have mixed feelings about close relationships, both desiring and feeling uncomfortable with emotional closeness. They tend to mistrust their partners and view themselves as unworthy. Like dismissive-avoidant adults, fearful-avoidant adults tend to seek less intimacy, suppressing their feelings.